Tag Archives: writing

Optimistic Heart

Dear Diary, Ramblings, Writing, Writing Process, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

131007-093034I’ve been thinking about lots of stuff lately. Between work picking up pace, my friends and sister getting ready to graduate, and a death in the extended family, I’ve decided to reevaluate my life.

My life as a new author has been rough. I’ve been monitoring my sales page, which has been very depressing for the past few months. It made me wonder if I made a bad decision in self-publishing this novel. I’ve also thought about sending copies to review bloggers, but my mind does something to me every time I debate about an action.

Imagining the Worst Case Scenario.

I read some of these bloggers’ submission details, and when it says they post their reviews everywhere, both positive and negative ones, all I can think is, “What if it’s negative? What if my writing isn’t as decent as I had hoped? What if I get a bad review, and that scares others from even giving my novel a chance? That could ruin my shot at getting bigger…”

I have this OCD trait where I want everybody to like me. It doesn’t matter if I see or talk to someone for a few seconds in my entire life; I want that person to like me for those few seconds. It’s become such a paralyzing problem, because then I second-guess my thoughts. I walk on eggshells, trying to ensure that each person I meet or interact with doesn’t have negative thoughts about me and my behaviors and mental/emotional state.

TheProtektorsReality_400x640_115dpiThe thing I’ve come to realize recently, is that you can’t please everyone. You will always have haters, especially if you put your work out for the world to see. It comes with the job, and it’s something I’ve struggled with since Day 1.

I need to refocus on my dream, what I want, and how to get there, and not focus on the negativity that my mind creates for me. Being a pessimist has always come easy, the true challenge is getting past that. Despite the scenarios my imagination creates to scare me, I have always been optimistic about my dreams. I have always hoped to be partially-successful as an author. I always hoped I would sell tons of copies of my books, to prove to myself that I’m a good writer and that others enjoy the stories I have created.

The following lyrics are from a song that was released only a few days ago, by an AMAZING Youtuber named Tyler Ward. It’s an original song he wrote (and he had another video showing him going through the songwriting process for this very song), and it was perfect for what I had been thinking about for the week prior.

“So I’ll blame it on my Optimistic Heart,

At least I’ll have stories for my scars,

American Dream my life away,

When all of my dreams cry, “MAYDAY, MAYDAY!”,

I may lose my heart,

But one day I’ll be a star.”

So, for the others of you out there that have regret your decisions or lose faith in your dreams, “Try not to care what others think,” and have an Optimistic heart. Just keep trying. You’ll get there someday.

Good luck, Dreamers. “One day, [you’ll] be a star.”

 

Ten Years of Family: Ravencon 2015

Dear Diary, Out in the World, Ramblings, Writing, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m drained.

And no, not in a bad way.

This past weekend was Ravencon 2015 close to my home. This con is near and dear to my heart, as it was because of it that my goals and perspective on my writing life changed.

April 2008:

Stuck in a rut. Haven’t written anything for weeks, and not because I didn’t have time. Think major migraine + achy muscles + searing pain in my heart like someone stabbed me, but ten million times worse. I had never had as much difficulty writing as I had then, and I don’t think I’ve hit a Writer’s Block that hard since. I caught a glimpse of a flyer on a school bulletin board. It talked of authors, artists, and scientists talking during all lunches. Thinking I had nothing to lose, I decided to go, only expecting a few pointless pointers and tips, probably things I already tried.

Boy, was I wrong.

And it was because of one guy.

Tee Morris.

Tee was a school alum, and came almost every year to promote this “Ravencon” event, whatever that was. As of now, I can’t remember exactly what he said and told me one-on-one, and I don’t even think he remembers. What I do remember is going back to class (late, as I stayed past my lunch to talk to him), opening my notebook, and cranking out what would eventually be recorded on my computer as 1,200 words. In one day. Needless to say, he pulled me out of my rut that day, and that’s when my writing “hobby” became what I eventually wanted to be a writing “career”.

April 2009:

I waited anxiously for Tee to show up and talk to my class that Spring, as he did every year, because that teacher also taught him. Never happened. I even went to Ravencon (my first trip), and couldn’t find him.

April 2010:

No sign of the elusive Morris, at school or con. Seems to have dropped off the radar.

September 2010:

On a suggestion from my coordinator, I reached out to him, in the hopes that I could convince him that we weren’t quarantined and the building was still standing. Imagine my happiness when he replied by telling me that he was coming back for Ravencon in the Spring. I spent the rest of the time until the con working as a go-between for Tee and my school’s library.

April 2011:

The Friday of the con, I spent the entire day in the library with literary masters. Thank you to all my teachers who let me skip class (it was senior teach day, so don’t panic, no one else was in classes either)

And then that weekend, three of my friends and I got to be on a panel, called Voices of Tomorrow. It was pretty much a panel where Young Adults talk about their interests in the literary world. Tee (of course) moderated, and it was my first experience on a panel. You’ll see why that experience *might* help me later.

The next three years (2012, 2013, 2014), I went every year, spending time with Tee, his (now) wife Pip, and so many other writers until my heart exploded.

This year?

Ravencon lost a important and loved member of its community. While I never got to meet John, I could see him through those that did. The love and care and compassion, the excitement and laughter and joy, the camaraderie and friendships and relationships. John must have been a pretty amazing guy to have brought all these people together, and a great, fun, wacky group of people to boot. And I saw his spirit in those around me, and I have never felt so close to so many people in such a short amount of time.

Add onto that fun and closeness with me actually *attempting* to be social. I introduced myself to a few people, including the Con Chair. When Tee followed up the introduction, he says, “Yeah, she’s gotta be a guest next year.”

…….

My heart literally stopped.

I mean, he’s mentioned it in the past, but now that I have a physical book, it’s an entire possibility.

AN ENTIRE. POSSIBILITY.

Milestone, baby.

AND THAT’S why I needed panel experience.

While I’m not going to guarantee that will happen, I’m reeeeeeally hoping it might.

Tee, make it happen.

You know, please?? 😀

New Starts

Career, Dear Diary, Out in the World, Writing, , , , , , , , , ,

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!!!

So, this is the first place I am officially announcing this news: I GOT A JOB! A REAL FULL TIME JOB!!

*insert squealing girl here*

*clears throat*

Anyway. This company was the only one to even ask for an interview since my December 2014 graduation. I’d gotten PLENTY of rejections (not unlike my publishing attempts), but they asked me for not one, but TWO interviews, and two days later, I received a job offer, making MUCH more than I’d expected and will great benefits.

By the time of the follow-up interview, I was recovering from a Smoky Mountain Writer’s hangover and in the middle of a Book 3 mini-coma. Once that retreat had ended, I had a L.O.I. (Loss of Inspiration – see previous post), and felt absolutely drained. And don’t go thinking that the retreat was terrible for me if I got these aftereffects. That retreat was AWESOME, so no one can criticize it. I got a lot of wordsmithing, brainstorming, and networking done in those short seven days. If you EVER get a chance to go on a writer’s retreat or even a literary convention, GO!G&G 60th 149

Anyway, I was readjusting to normal, routine life, which consisted of an hour of staring at a blank computer screen, unbelievable amounts of time on Facebook, and having deep conversations with my dogs because I had no one else to talk to. Don’t look at me like that. It’s not weird. What is weird is having a majority of days filled with silence after seven days of having 18 other people to talk to.

The job offer made me so excited. I was bouncing off the walls for days! Yeah, I crashed once, and started freaking out about what I might screw up, or how I might come off to fellow employees, or how people’s first impressions of me would be (positive, negative, creative – the worries were unending). Then, I realized that I can only do the best I can. They had to know I would be a good fit for the job; otherwise, they wouldn’t have offered me the job. I may doubt myself during my employment, but I had to be worth something to end up there.

In writing news, I still am stuck on my SMW WIP. However, I took a detour, and decided to venture into the past of the characters in that series, much like I did with my ToTV series and The Protektor’s Reality [Still available for purchase on Amazon, along with the ebook short story saga 😉 ]. One of these prequels is a roleplay that I’m doing with a friend, coincidentally the one who gave me the idea for this series to begin with. It’s pretty much just a GoogleDoc that both of us can edit, and we each post a paragraph or so focused on a single character’s actions, and then we put some sort of separator (for instance ” *** “), and the next author/character can post their bit. The second is one I’m doing on my own, but has helped me to create the background and behind the scenes of my current WIP series. And BOY, is it fun!

Until next time, interwebz, Keep Faith. Like I’ll have to, in order to not go insane balancing my work life and writing life. :p

WB vs. L.O.I.: Post-Writeathon Blues

Advice, Fiction, Ramblings, Writing, Writing Process, , , , , , , , , ,

So, for once, two blog postings in a week. This should make up for forgetting February, right?

Anyway, this post is one that is rough for me to admit, but I feel that people could relate to it, so why the heck not, huh? I mean, if that retreat taught me anything, it’s that finding other writers who have faced similar situations is an eye-opener, and they can give advice for the troubles you might be having, because they might have gone through them themselves.

This week, my struggle is my inspiration. It’s gone on vacation. For who knows how long. I spent a straight 7 days writing about 8 hours a day, with breaks for lunch and just because I need to step away. So, about 6 hours a day, I was either brainstorming or writing. And now I have 28,000 words for my third book in my most recent series.

The problem with that?

When I got home, my inspiration said, “Adios. Sayonara. Goodbye. I’ll be back whenever.”

I had lost all inspiration to work on finishing it. Maybe it was the draining from writing that much in that short amount of time. Maybe I missed my new friends and the snippets we would share before dinner. Maybe I’d laughed too much over the course of that retreat, and it gave me brain damage. In any case, I have not been able to get a coherent chapter out of my head for days. And it’s frustrating! Because, only about a month or two ago did I know how my series would end. And the ending is AMAZING! (Well, in my mind anyway. The rest of you will be sobbing and sending threatening letters for me to write another book to make things better).

The point is, losing your inspiration can be a scary, frustrating thing. I’ve had plenty of times when I had writer’s block, but what I’ve come to realize is that Writer’s Block and Loss of Inspiration are two separate conditions.

Writer’s Block, despite the usage some people use, is when you can’t generate any ideas for projects you’re working on, which causes frustration because you had hoped it would amount to something. Loss of Inspiration takes from the (wrong) public usage and capitalizes on it. I see it as you know EXACTLY what you want to write, EXACTLY which characters it involves, and EXACTLY how it ends, but can’t, for your life, get the words down on paper/computer. Some symptoms of both of these would be:

– frustration;

– not being able to sit still for extended lengths of time;

– spending TOO much time on Netflix, browsing episodes of Friends, Supernatural, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., or various, addictive anime shows;

– Talking/Rambling a lot, much to the annoyance of your family and friends.

However, a MAJOR effect of L.O.I. is one that isn’t that prominent in WB:

– Dreaming.

Being a writer is all about being an imaginative dreamer, right? Our stories are a part of us, every character has a piece of us in their looks, personality, attitude, quirks, or flaws. Each setting, plot bunny, character, world system – each and every word we have written since we wanted to be a writer – came from us. When you have WB, it restricts that dreaming ability, because we can’t seem to figure out what to write next. However, the opposite is just a frustrating to those with L.O.I.

They dream more than usual. You’d think this was a good thing, but think about it for a second. Being able to dream up every chapter, every plot point, every character development moment, but not being able to utilize it in story format? For me, that’s torture. It’s the most frustrating condition ever to have, and believe me, I know, because I’m going through it right now.

The downside? Every writer can get both of these issues at any time in their writing career. It will happen without notice, warning, or time to prepare, and when you least expect it. There’s a good thing to remember though.

There’s always a light at the end of a tunnel. You will get through it, and one day soon, you’ll be scribbling/typing at the speed of light. Just remind yourself of what you want, and remember that it will be worth it.

Yeah, having your own book in your hands, whether digital or print?

Yes, it’s ALWAYS worth the trouble.

Guess I gotta remember that myself, huh? 😉

AWESOME! – That Time In The Mountains

Fiction, Out in the World, Writing, , , , , , , , , ,

11021147_10205204431726986_4919789665877364578_n

I’ve been quiet for a while, trying to figure out what I could blog about. Now, I have the absolute BEST thing to write about.

For the past week, I have been away on a Writers retreat (Smoky Mountain Writers- SMW) with about <20 AMAZING people. When I arrived, I only knew one person, one of my mentors who pulled me into this. I was petrified, not knowing who these people are, just knowing they were writers and friends with my mentors. Said mentors assured me that these were good people, and I trust them, which is why I agreed to go. I thought, hey, it’s a good experience, and great networking. However, with my shyness and reluctance to interact with other people, I was still a bit anxious about how I would fair during an 8-day retreat in the middle of nowheresville Tennessee (The mountains in Gatlinburg, for anyone’s information) with a bunch of people I didn’t know. At worst, I’d get some writing done, get some sleep and food, and not embarrass the heck out of myself.

Man, I was SOOOOOO GLAD that it was much more than that.

My drive was difficult to say the least. I drove through a blizzard on I-81 for over 8 hours, finally stopping 15 miles from the VA/TN border on Saturday night. I continued the drive Sunday morning, and when I got there, I learned it had been totally worth it (no matter how much my mom said she was going to kick my @$$ when I got home).

Sure, a majority of our time was silent writing time (which, over 6.5 days, I’d written over 28k). At first it was hard to interact with these people, because all of them had some sort of connections with other cabinmates. Most had been to Balticon, and were planning on returning this May. Some were co-authoring works together, and others had been friends for years. It was intimidating, being the odd one out.

Then came the surprising part: they attempted to include me. Like, talking to me, actually WANTING to get to know ME, of all people. They understood the challenges I’d had in life, because all of them had been through it too. They were welcoming, kind, CRAZY people, so much like me that it stunned me for a bit. They got me to do things I never would have done elsewhere. I read some of my raw work EVERY NIGHT. I watched a New Zealand vampire ‘documentary’ (coming soon to places other than NZ- What We Do In The Shadows). I even hot-tubbed OUTSIDE in 30° temperatures!

Before I arrived, I believed this would be an amazing opportunity to network and make connections. I hadn’t really expected to make 17 new friends. By the time I had to say my tearful goodbye (Bad weather on last day, so left early), I trusted them so much, and I hope they will be friends with me for a long, long time. They were amazing, creative, spontaneous, CRAZY people, and I miss them so much already.

Onto Smoky Writers 2016!

As Stu WILL say, “AWWWWESUMMMM!”

IT’S HERE!!!!

Advice, Fiction, Uncategorized, Writing, Writing Process, , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, if you can’t tell by the title, I’m EXTREMELY hyper!! My paperback book was officially released on November 25th, with the eBook versions out five days later. This dream was ten years in the making, and when that book was in my hands, I started tearing up. I may not be as far as my final goal, but this is the first step toward it.

This book was one of my favorites writing. It is a prequel to a trilogy I had completed TheProtektorsReality_400x640_115dpibefore starting to write this one. My goal is to get that trilogy traditionally published, hopefully sometime in the near future. This whole saga – which includes 4 short stories, 1 novella, the prequel, and the trilogy – is a project I started about four years ago. In fact, two of the four total books in this saga were NaNoWriMo wins, one in the traditional November NaNo, and the other during Camp NaNoWriMo.

Those of you that have a dream, don’t stop reaching for it! Though you may lose faith along the way, if you continue to pursue your dreams, I can guarantee you will not be disappointed!

Check out the tab for my works to find the synopsis and links for The Protektor’s Reality. I’d really appreciate any support I can get, including buying or reviewing! It is available as a print book on Amazon, Kindle eBook, and also on Smashwords in all eBook formats, online reading, and also PDF file.

And don’t think this means I’m done. My journey is just beginning.

Piracy: The Obvious Facts

Writing, Writing Process, Writing Process, , , , , , ,

Anyone ever Google Search yourself? Or your family? Your friends? Your works?

I really hadn’t before today. I’d searched my dad years ago (for specific reasons I won’t delve into here), but never myself. Besides, at the time, there probably wasn’t anything on the Internet about a 14-year-old high school student in a town in VA that most people hadn’t heard of. For kicks today, I searched for myself. Unfortunately, out of the first four Google Search results’ pages, there were only about 3 links actually about me, while the rest were either about the children’s book author that shares my name or the lawyer whose name is similar (but not the same) as mine.

When I realized I might find more if I use a more specific, unique search term, I searched for “Terrara Vikos”. And, as you might expect, I got links to my ebooks and this blog. When I flipped to page 2, I learned something new about my authoring life.

Some of my ebooks had been pirated.

I had arrived as an author.

No, seriously! Someone had procured my stories and posted them on a pirated site for the mass public of freeloaders to enjoy. By the logic I had as a child, this would have been a good thing. Utilitarianism. “The most Good for the most people.” And, people were reading my works, which meant PEOPLE WERE READING MY WORKS! However, as an adult and budding author, my opinion is now different.

Question: Is this a good thing?

Answer: No, probably not.

The Reason: Yes, I publish my stories for people to read, which would support the childhood fantasy of my writing being noticed. HOWEVER, when a person downloads my stories from a pirated site, not only am I not receiving royalties and direct attention for those copies, I am also not getting hit on my reports. A person that gets a pirated copy is a person who I will never know saw it. Whether you’re a starting author or one with mounds of experience, hits, views, and copies purchased (sales) is a BIG deal, as it tells us a great deal about the interest in our works. You’ve probably heard that preorder sales help authors (and publishers) to predict the success and profitability of that work. When you, as a reader, gain a pirated copy of ANYTHING – movies, books, music – you may feel you got a good deal from it, but, in the end, make it tough on the creators of that work. You’re hurting each person involved in the creation of that art. You’re hurting them BADLY.

Just this to close out this post. Just buy the book. It means a great deal to authors if anyone reads our works, but not if we don’t know they read them. To be honest, we’re slightly vain in that respect. WE WANT ATTENTION.

Also, those hits let us know that we have support. The only way we know that is if you buy from a reputable source, because then that purchase shows up in our reports. Those figures – # purchased, # of views, sales #’s – are our way of knowing that we are supported, and that’s what makes us feel happy and accomplished.

Does this look happy and accomplished to you?

No, didn’t think so.

But you can change that.

Nearer and Nearer…

Fiction, Out in the World, Writing, Writing Process, Writing Process, , , , , , , , ,

Well, folks, a lot has happened since I last posted. In regards to last post, I have lost a little bit of weight, but not much. This post, however, is about something much more important to me.

My publishing journey.

I have a few beta edits out for critique right now and am anticipating those arriving soon. Once I get those, I will fix what is necessary, and then run through another last round of edits myself. I can’t reveal what will happen once editing’s done, as it is variable and dependent on third parties. However, I know the plan and will it reveal when the time is right.

For now, though, you all will have to bear with me.

On another note, I just got back from a week in Orlando. Yes, Disney happened. Yes, I had a blast. Yes, I got to take a selfie with Sorcerer Mickey. No, I didn’t get to ride Jungle Cruise with Skipper Sam, my distant cousin (which was extremely depressing, by the way. Stupid lightning!).

Disney LogoI also got to exercise (fun, right?), eat a lot, visit family and friends that live in the area, and even late-nite mini golfing. While it’s true my family and I fought a bunch, what family vacation doesn’t end up in a frustrating argument at least once? In the end, the trip was amazing, and I am grateful I got to spend time there with my dad and sis.

My dad and I argue. A lot. On a regular basis. HOWEVER, he has always been there for me. He still is. He’s the one who is supporting me in my dream the most out of my entire family, both monetarily- and marketing-wise. We spent a majority of the 12 hour car ride home discussing my future as an author. I’m so grateful I have him in my life, and I hope he knows that!

Until another day, Vikans!

Keep Faith,

-Chrissy

The Waiting Game

Advice, Writing, Writing Process, Writing Process, , , , , , , ,

So, I think all of us have gone through this situation before. When you have something you’ve created that you’re incredibly proud of. And you really want to share it. With one person. Two people. The world. But, that accomplishment is your little baby. You want praise and happy words. Not the harsh criticism and vicious stabs that end up with you depressed and swimming in a pool of tears because they said that about your baby.

…. Please tell me I’m not the only one that happens to?

Of course not!

This what you’re thinking?

Authors go through this often. When they’ve completed a WIP, whether it’s a short story, poem, novel, etc. When they have to hand the fragile ‘child’ over to an agent, publisher, friend for critique, it’s a free-for-all. From the second you send it off, you sit there, nervous, edgy, probably antsy and fidgety. While you wait impatiently, your mind is concocting what they may say in their responses. In reality, this does more harm than good, but something needs to occupy your mind, right?

Here’s some tips on how to handle the duration of your long-waiting critiques:

1) Get out of the house- whether it’s going out on a coffee date with friends or working out at a local gym, getting off your butt for a length of time can really help ease the worrisome anticipation.

2) Occupy your brain space- Sometimes, thinking about something else can distract you from those cursed guesstimates of the beta edits. Some ways to do this include watching TV, cleaning, talking with people on the phone/Skyping, and playing games (virtual or physical- doesn’t really matter).

3) Lastly, MORE WRITING!- It always helps me to focus on a new project (or self-edit an old one), because then I allow myself to get sucked into my character’s world rather than the stresses of my own.

If any of you have any other ways that help you get through the waiting game, leave them in the comments below. I’m sure they’ll help out more of our fellow authors out!

Critiques Aren’t Meant To Cause Pain

Fiction, Writing, Writing Process, , , , , , , , , , ,

021
As a writer, you’d think I’d be used to critiques by now. I’ve been in a writing fiction class, where they tore my fantasy to shreds, and I’m currently in my senior level English class, where our class is working on a publication that will be distributed to my entire town, and have been slammed by the harsh critiques I’ve been getting.

What does that do to me as a writer? In theory, as a writer, I need to analyze the critiques, edit accordingly, and brush it off like it’s a piece of fuzz on your shirt. It’s very nice in theory, but very difficult in practice. When you get copies of your work back, a story or manuscript that has been your precious word baby for a while, you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach and a feeling like someone torn your heart into tiny pieces.

Something important happens after that though. You read the edits, and eventually realize that some – if not most – are things that should be changed to make it better. That hole is still there, but starts getting smaller. Does that mean change everything they tell you to? No, it doesn’t. You have to use your discretion as the WIPs creator and figure out what is essential to the story and what can be changed. When you overcome that barrier, the hole is about the width of a pencil.

Finally, when you send that prec023ious word baby of yours back to the editors, and it comes back with a bazillion red markups, that hole expands again, but this time not as big as the first round. As you progress forward and get critique after critique sent back and forth, you start to catch things and habits in your writing that reoccur. Things like in-depth details, or grammatical errors, or maybe that you’re a comma-happy person.

That’s the point I’m trying to tell myself, and something I’m sharing with all of you. CRITIQUES MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER! While seeing the red pen marks of death may crush you inside, you need to remember that the reason you even get those critiques back is because the editors (whether they are fellow peers, family, friends, or even just a distant connection of someone you know) are only marking those things to make your story the best it can be. Without those marks and notes, the story would go to publication with all the little mistakes and inconsistencies you missed in personal edits. Every good author or writer needs someone who won’t be careful when critiquing and sugarcoat it in sake of your relationship.

As I’ve learned recently, I still get a little pang of pain in my heart when someone tells me my story needs “a little work”. However, the fact still remains that my goal is to be the best author I can be, and that I can write stories that others will enjoy and that makes people feel something inside. If I have bad habits in my writing style, I want them broken before my stories go to publication to give my readers the best, because that’s what they deserve.

I remind myself of that every time a critiqued story comes back to me. I take a deep breath, open it up, and keep on writing.