Category Archives: Advice

Guess Who’s Back?

Yep, that would be me. Things have been so crazy that I haven’t been able to gather myself and blog. A lot’s happened since my last post. I finished my last Spring semester at my college. I got an internship at a military base. My grandmother got engaged. My sister got to go to DC and Kings Dominion within a week’s time (and that’s also with going to school, homework, summer assignment prep, etc). And my father is going to get command of his own troop this weekend! He doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but it really is. šŸ™‚

Anyway, I felt I should center today’s post around something that has very recently popped up in my life: writer’s groups.

If you’re not in one, LOOK FOR ONE! I usually only relied on a select group of friends or the internet for writing advice and critique. However, I just recently started going to James River Writer‘s Writers Farmhouse events. It happens every Wednesday at a small, organic cafe about 20 minutes from my house. I’d decided three weeks ago to try it on a whim. I’m not much of the type to put myself out there and socialize, but I’m SOOOOO glad I did for this! JRW is a group of caring, supportive, talented individuals who love the same thing I do: WRITING! However, the fun is, that’s not all we talk about. During my first visit, we talked about everything from Marvel vs. DC to Turkish potatoes. And we all got along! No one was judge-y or cared if we acted like idiots. We were all there because we all shared the same passion for writing and wanted some likeminded people to share that passion and excitement with.

Writers Farmhouse, 28-May-2014

If you’re a Richmond-area writer, consider joining JRW, or even coming to their conference in October (because that’s an even bigger blast of fun to be had). If you don’t happen to be in this area, research, research, RESEARCH! There’s bound to be one in your city or group of towns, and even if there isn’t, there’s online writer’s groups, such as Figment, which I am also a part of, though more sparsely.

Bottom line: Find other writers and get to know them. They are the BEST support system you’ll ever find!

Dear Diary: The Struggles of a College Student

Yes, I know; I missed a blog post. The reason for that will be explained throughout this little story…

Ever have one of those days? The kind when you don’t get much of a breather before another person or problem comes breathing down your neck? Yeah, I’ve been having those.

For the past month.

Welcome to the life of a college senior.

I’ve had projects, homework (which I’ve fallen behind on MAJORLY), special events, running between home and school (which is a 50 minute drive one-way), and one internship interview that I think went well. This work load has been getting worse and worse as the semester has gone on. Finally, after that month, I broke down on Wednesday. It was too much. The trigger was being threatened, but it was an empty threat. I was scared at first, but when I realized it couldn’t happen, it wasn’t a big deal.

Anyway, my life is finally calming down. I’m staying at school this weekend to catch up on work (as I really don’t do homework when I’m home). I’ve got 5 make-up quizzes, one make-up test, and 28 minutes left of a transcription for my English class to do this weekend. For the rest of the semester, I have one quiz, three final exams, two final projects, and two weeks of being here.

The point of this post is to not scare people into not wanting to go to college. That is not even close. You get the opportunity to go to college, I have one word for you: GO! It is the experience of a lifetime, and you don’t want to pass that up.

No, the point is that THINGS GET BETTER. No matter how bad things look, they will always get better, somehow, someway. As my family used to tell me on a regular basis, ā€œThings can only go up from here.ā€

And I’ve had friends at school that are going through the same stresses I’ve been going through. There are a few song lyrics I play for them to let them know that we’ll get through it.

ā€œIf you ever fall down, straight to the bottom, and you can’t get back right where you started, any place anytime, you gotta know for you, I’ll fight.ā€

-Daughtry, I’ll Fight

ā€œJust give it one more time, to a Lullaby, and turn this up on the radio. If you can hear me now, I’m reachin’ out, to let you know that you’re not alone. And if you can’t tell, I’m scared as Hell, cuz I can’t get you on the telephone. So just close your eyes. Baby here comes a Lullaby. Your very own Lullaby.ā€

-Nickelback, LullabyĀ (I linked the actual music video for this one, because it’s powerful. At least to me)

ā€œCuz when push comes to shove, you taste what you’re made of. You might bend, ā€˜til you break, cuz it’s all you can take. On your knees, you look up, decide you’ve had enough. You get mad, you get strong. Wipe your hands, shake it off. Then you stand.ā€

-Rascal Flatts, Stand

ā€œThere’s always gonna be another mountain. I’m always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes you’re gonna have to lose. Ain’t about how fast I get there. Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side. It’s the climb.ā€

-Miley Cyrus, The Climb

Whenever I feel down and like the world has thrown me to the ground (usually repeatedly and frequently), I play these songs and others like them to remind me that I’m not alone. This happens to everyone at some point in their lives. If they can pick themselves up, so can I. On Thursday, after that meeting that scared me on Wednesday, I went to my teacher’s office to talk to her about it. The first thing she tells me? ā€œI glad you came. I didn’t think you’d last the night.ā€

To which I replied, ā€œWell, I’m still alive, right?ā€

(Where do you look for inspiration when you’re upset or stressed? Do you have any songs, song lyrics, poems, stories, or people to talk to that help get you out of that rut. Comment below and let me know how you get through those struggles.)

Fighting Back- What Relay for Life 2014 Taught Me

ā€œERRRR!ā€

That is the best description of my dryer. A high pitched, incredibly loud alarm that I can do nothing to stop. It lasts all of three seconds, but it’s scary enough to make me jump when it goes off.

Sometimes I debate leaving to do something while the dryer runs, so I won’t have to be terrified for those few seconds of that obnoxious annoyance. However, that’s running away from something I’m afraid of.

That’s one thing I’ve had to learn as I grow up: you shouldn’t run away from your fears, but confront them. Now, this is coming from me, the most timid, terrified chicken in my school. I’m scared of walking past a scary set of factories at night to get back to my apartment (a stretch of walkway I like to call the ā€œFactory Districtā€). I’m scared of pain, as I have a very low pain tolerance.

The biggest thing I’m afraid of, though, is failure. And not just failure of one task either. It’s failure in school, in writing, in friendship, in LIFE. And those fears keep me from furthering myself in the world. If I pushed those thoughts out of my head – the ones that are afraid of people’s opinions and what is defined as success – I may be able to succeed in ways I never could have imagined. Sure, results may vary, but you can’t really judge when you have blinders on.

For example, I captained my organization’s Relay for Life team this year. When I showed up to Relay, our ā€˜booth’ was positioned in a corner, pretty much in-between a wall (aside from the mess that was cutting hair to donate- mess meaning crowds of people watching and blocking us) and the stage, where there were speakers blasting music so loud I couldn’t hear what someone next to me was saying. We had very little traffic to our table, and some of our raffle items only got one person bidding on them. I also had to call on the help of my family to aid me in running the booth, as some of my fellow organization members had prior commitments that limited their time at Relay.

At first, all I could dwell on was that what I had feared had actually happened: where we didn’t get a lot of people to our table and were exhausted when the event ended at 5AM the next morning. However, as the week since had gone on, I’ve picked out the positives. We may have not made as much money as we wanted, but we still made some money to help cancer patients. We may have not had as many people rallying for money online as I had hoped, but we still reached our initial goal. … And then five stretch goals after that, coming to a total of $1,060 of donations in exactly a month’s time.

It might have been a long night, but my sister, grandma, and dad all had a blast during the event. I watched my seventeen-year-old sister dancing and having fun with college students. I saw my dad up on the track, dancing as he did laps for our team (we made 251 laps around the track during the 12-hour event). I got to watch my grandma as she looked down on the stage from the track and listen to the speakers that initiated the event.

Plus, once our organization’s team got back from the State Conference, they had something special to give me. šŸ˜‰

So, think about this for a second. If I had imagined all that good stuff happening before the event started, would I have felt any different during? Well, no, probably not. I would have still been exhausted, hungry, and forcing positivity the whole night. However, sometimes, they do make things better. Once I had realized all those good things that came from participating and running that event booth, I felt proud of myself for what I’d done. I had learned new things and helped an organization that is currently close to my heart right now.

I didn’t let the fear consume me. I still put on a smiling face and pushed though, and soon found out it had all been worth it.

So, if your dryer is making you jump out of your seat, remember this: it has to end sometime. So push against those fears, and you’ll soon see it was worth it.

ā€œERRRR!ā€

… Man, this is going to be hard.